Somedays you’re just sick of feeling sick. Not only that, the symptoms that fill your everyday life are simply driving you insane, and you want them gone, now. If your chronic illness is even remotely like mine, you know exactly what I am talking about. It is days like these that never seem to end, leading us to get frustrated, antsy, short with everyone we come into contact with, and maybe even a bit sarcastic about life in general. We just wish things would let up and be different, at least for one day. Yet life never seems to change over night like we wish, and the mornings continue to come in the same, monotonous way that they have for years. So what are we to do? Like anyone, living with a chronic illness has its ups and downs. Some weeks we can handle our situation a lot better than others, whether due to a slight fluctuation in symptoms, or simply a better state of mind. Of course, it is only natural to go through days, or even weeks, when we cannot seem to get out of own way, however, it is successfully rising above these moments of frustration that can make or break us. Getting cynical about the state that our bodies are in is innate, especially when we compare ourselves to others around us who are living completely healthy lives. Yet despite how tough, painful, tiring, and seemingly never-ending our circumstances may get, we must not forget one thing, and that is, contentment.
Throughout my years of being sick, there have been many situations where my family and I are left waiting for doctors to be in contact with us on various tests, treatments, etc… It is during these times of waiting on the unknown, that I have come to realize that despite how easy it is to become anxious, trying to hasten the turn of events always proves to be pointless. Instead, I always find the most peace when I am in a state of relaxation and contentment with where I am in my life, despite the pain and struggle that comes along with waiting for answers. Whether sick, healthy, young, or old, we as humans tend to always want to see the end or outcome of a given event. We are rarely comfortable sitting back and letting things run their course, but instead get worrisome, trying to come up with ways that we can effect the outcomes as best as humanly possible. However, when this happens, we all too easily forget about learning from the lessons that life is teaching us here and now, ultimately loosing site of the whole reason and plan behind why God has given us the task of waiting with complete trust in Him. Finding contentment in a given circumstance can be hard, especially when they include an increase in painful symptoms, conditions, or effects derived from your chronic illness. That being said, if we try and rely on earthly sources to find a sense of fulfillment or peace in these hard times, we may find satisfaction or happiness for a moment, but more than likely we will always be left with an even greater feeling of uncertainty and despair. Therefore, to find true peace in these times where it seems no progress is being made in our illness, we must fully acknowledge and believe that God has a real, important reason for having us in this position. After our hearts truly believe this, all we must do is ask Him to help us through, and then accept all that He has readily available to help us through this unclear time in life. When we do this, finding contentment in a situation that the world would otherwise view as unfair, monotonous, and pointless, becomes quite joyful, as not only does our viewpoint of life change, but our heart, mind, and body is a peace once more. Never resist a time of waiting because it seems like nothing here on earth is moving forward, instead, remember that God is always seated on His throne and working on our behalf, even when we cannot yet see it.
Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”