The past 5 days have been exceptionally difficult for me. After being on a new round of bartonella treatment for over a couple months now, this week was the first time I experienced significant die-off symptoms. My symptoms began to flare at the end of last week, which made me realize that it was time for a treatment dose. Of course, as anyone with lyme-related infections knows, treating the infection to get rid of symptoms is a catch22. Instead of feeling relief from your symptoms, you inevitably feel a whole lot worse. On top of this, it was the full moon over the weekend (this is probably why the infection became active in the first place). If you’re wondering what the fool moon and lyme have to do with one another, read this post here. All of this to say, the pat few days have been difficult. While last week I felt very accomplished and on top of the world with everything I was getting done, by the time Sunday came I felt like a MAC truck had run over me. I felt slow, sluggish, with delayed reaction time and an ache that radiated from my head to my toe. I had to stamina, my head and eyes hurt constantly, I could never catch my breath, and the bottoms of my feet hurt tremendously. What’s all this? Die-off. Bartonella die-off to be exact, and it something I deal with on a monthly basis, when exactly just depends on my treatment doses.
Everytime I deal with die-off I feel like I’m going backwards. It’s frustrating, to say the least. However, over the years I’ve come to realize that I am not (usually) going backwards at all. I am reminded that sometimes, in order to move forward, we first must take a step in the opposite directions. Sounds silly, I know. During times like these not only do the symptoms haunt me, so do the “what-ifs” and the unknown. I don’t know if I’ll feel better in a day, a week, or a month. There have been countless times where my symptoms just keep going, and going, and going, with no sight of relief in the near future. It’s hard to not let myself get trapped by the pain, however, I must remember to keep my mindset in the right place. Instead of remembering all of the times it took FOREVER to feel better, I do my best to remain optimistic that tomorrow WILL be a better day. Of course, this is all easier said that done. All of this brings me to today’s video, an unfiltered, “real life” look into my life dealing with Lyme. It’s not glamorous or anything special, but I thought it needed to be shared as I know there are others going through similar things.
Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”